A better title might be:
"Is that beer I smell on your breath?"
This story is dedicated to my dearest friend, who shall remain anonymous (of course to protect her innocence)... You know who you are.
As we peel our rear ends off the plastic seats we have been sitting in for 8 hours a day, 4 days a week. We all agree a refreshing adult beverage is in order. A number of hungry, thirsty, brain dead graduate students pile into the local pub located conveniently across the way. We immediately begin discussing the previous class with fervor.
As my friend Gillionia and I begin heating up from the discussion the decision is made for us to discuss the concern with the Director of the Program, and rapidly throw the ill-equipped professor under the bus. Gillionia and I were of course "sharing" an adult beverage and felt we should finish this before we went over.
As our fellow cohort members "strongly" encouraged us to rush back over and discuss this matter with Dr. Smac, we grew increasingly confident in our ability to "make a stand."
The glass was slammed down as we marched off to find Dr. Smac. We were devising our plan as we briskly walked... "Okay, so we have to let her know about the misinformation she gave us, she shows her panties during class and that she is really mean to you Gilionia."
"Yes, Gillionia, I agree. I got your back, she was not nice to you, only because you knew more than her, of course."
"CLICK... BEEEEP." The door opens and as we accent the stairway to Dr. Smacs office a touch of reality came over us.
"Whooow, can you smell beer on my breath."
"Sniff, sniff, no I can only smell mint."
"What about me, whooow?"
"Sniff, sniff, nope, you are good too."
"We only had 1/2 a beer, Gilionia, we are good."
“Hey, I am not saying anything about her underwear, are you?” Gillionia said, concerned.
“Well, I think it is completely inappropriate, but I feel weird saying anything, I mean it isn’t like she is doing it on purpose, but she really should wear longer skirts.”
Silence…
“Okay, so we are going to leave that one alone, we are focusing on the class issues.” I reassured Gillionia of our mission.
Through the next set of doors reality came flying at us, Dr. Smac was in the hallway, as we entered. "Umm, Dr. Smac, can we talk to you?" Gilionia quietly and reluctantly requests.
"Yes, of course, is everything okay?" Dr. Smac says with her sweet motherly tone.
"Yes, we just need to talk to you about a class we are taking right now and thought you would be the one to help us problem solve." Gilionia replies, regaining a bit of confidence.
"And this involves both of you?" Dr. Smac clarifies, looking directly at me.
Unsure of what to say, I piped in with... "Well, I am witness to how Gilionia is being treated and we are both concerned about some of the class proceedings."
Dr. Smac leans in to both of us and says, "Is that beer I smell on your breath?"
Scrambling to find words and suddenly feeling like a child about to be scolded, we both quickly replied with, "we only had a 1/2 a beer."
Gillionia and I start smack each other on the arm and looking at one another for reassurance that everything will be fine. Both of our faces were beet red at this point.
"Okay girls, let's go in here." As Dr. Smac steps in front of us and holds the door open to a classroom a sudden thumping begins in my chest and I am pretty sure I heard Gilionia burp and fart simultaneously from nerves. I glanced her way and whispered, "Maybe we should have had the beer after."
We were able to discuss the concerns with Dr. Smac in a mature and professional matter. There may have been some crying, with which I was quick to console my friend and strongly advocate for her hurt feelings, as she was unable to at the moment. Dr. Smac could clearly see this matter needed to be addressed, yet would not give us any indication she was going to attend to the matter, rather she affirmed our courage to seek her out.
We ended with hugs and a greater respect for one another. Dr. Smac did encourage us to come to her before we have a ½ a beer next time, however.
Gillionia and I later delivered an Oscar Award winning performance in class a few days later. We are fairly certain the professor walked in confident and left feeling a bit more humbled by our gracefully articulated discussion we had in front of the class pointing out that she was not arguing with us, rather the book and Dr. Smac.
I believe our fellow classmates were snickering and wildly encouraging every bit of this as we continued to boldly defend our points at the potential cost of our grade.
This story was recently reminisced and I thought it would be worthy of the blog. I hope others find it lightly entertaining and equally humorous. I left out parts that would clearly identify people.
OH, and Gillionia did not burp and fart simultaneously. It just sounded fun… J
No comments:
Post a Comment